Q: Some of my friends don’t seem to care as much about the environment as I do. How can get them to care?

A: I say stuff their tailpipes with potatoes and look menacingly at them. No, I’m only kidding. Your friends are probably really great people, and there are lots of great ways to encourage them to do well by the environment. It can even be fun.

Let’s imagine your neighbor and friend, Joe, has just bought a new, large truck that clearly has terrible MPG. Ecologically, it’s not a great purchase decision. Here are some scenarios of what will (and won’t) help Joe green up and strengthen your friendship.

Getting Aggro Gets Nowhere: Approach #1 Won’t Work

“Hi Joe, I noticed you got a new truck… overcompensating for something, buddy? What do you need something that size for? Hey, instead of contributing to the depletion of our natural resources, try impressing your wife with some consideration for our planet’s future, would ya?”

This approach doesn’t work, and it’s probably clear why. Joe’s proud of his new truck (and sensitive about the size of his jewels). What Joe sees is someone who’s using environmental issues as a chance to insult him. This approach is counterproductive. Joe ends up disliking environmental issues, resenting people he sees as "crazy environmentalists," and perhaps getting angry enough to purposefully make ecologically bad choices; you end up short a friend and frustrated that you’re not getting through.

Toast Them, Don’t Roast Them: Approach #2 Might Work Well

"Hi Joe, I like your new truck. It looks like a pretty good, solid vehicle; you must really care about your family’s safety on the road."

Even if you don’t really like his new truck, telling him so will only make him feel bad about having spent a huge chunk of money on it. This approach focuses on the positive and reassures Joe that we consider him a good guy and a good friend. Joe’s going to make decisions according to his own values, whether we like those decisions or not. The best thing to do is to appreciate the values behind those decisions and bond over your commonalities. It might not seem like you’re doing much, but you’re helping Joe to think about his purchases and actions in terms of his personal values. There’s just one more step to make—increased knowledge about the environment—before Joe is able to incorporate environmentally sound values into his own routine.

Ask, Don’t Tell: Approach #3 Might Work Well

"Hi Joe, maybe my kids could ride with yours to school next week and I’ll return the favor the week after. It’d sure be nice to give each other a break from having to wake up and drive around that early in the morning."

Telling Joe to mind his environmental P’s and Q’s is about as effective as spreading jam with chopsticks. Relating to him over shared values, and then asking him for a favor that embodies your environmental ethic is a much better way to get him to respond to your environmental values. Here, we get to relate to Joe over shared values—in this case, values of family, safety, and personal time. We are then able to talk about issues that matter to us (like avoiding unnecessary driving) by couching them in terms of these shared values (in this case, family, community, and personal time). Joe sees that we value less time on the road, and he appreciates this better because we’re asking and not telling.

Walk The Walk: Approach #4 Is A Must

Mahatma Gandhi famously advised us to “be the change we wish to see in the world.” I once heard a brief story about him in which he illustrates this principle.

A woman once approached Gandhi and asked that he tell her son to stop eating sugar, which she believed was bad for him. She explained that her son looked up to Gandhi, so he would listen to his advice. Gandhi agreed, but asked for a couple of weeks before he could talk with her son.

After several weeks, the woman brought her son back to Gandhi, who told him not to eat sugar. The woman thanked him, but asked why he had wanted to wait so long before talking with her son.

Gandhi explained that during the past two weeks, he had learned to stop eating sugar. He reasoned that if he was going to tell her son to stop eating sugar, first he should stop eating sugar as well.

We all know that actions speak louder than words. You’re an eco-superstar, and chances are you make a good number of your decisions with consideration for how they effect our shared environment. Joe (and the rest of us) could use your good example! By modeling your stellar green ideas and practices for others, you can act as an inspiration and a positive influence. Perhaps the most effective way to produce change in others is by demonstrating it in our own actions.

We can all use good examples, inspiration, and fresh ideas about how to show respect for the natural world we live in. Thank you for sharing yours.

Understanding The Issue

Your friends may not be the next Jane Goodall, Al Gore, or John Muir.
Nonetheless, they probably act based on certain core values that they
hold. Maybe they support local firefighters, spend time caring for
their families, or participate with their community group or religious
center. We in the environmental movement are motivated by a similar
sense of duty to our values about the Earth. Naturally, you have a
thing or two in common with your friends that allow you to relate well.
A good start to greening your buddies is to listen to and appreciate
what they do care about.

Additional Resources:

How To Go Green | Heart of Green

How To Green Your House | Lime

Teaching Environmental Issues and the Affective Domain | Carleton College

Teaching Personal Responsibility in Environmental Education | The Association for Environmental and Outdoor Education

Green Family Values: Environmental Education Curriculum | GO

Resources for Teaching Kids Green Habits | Suite 101

Green Living | Multnomah County Library

Photo Sources:

Bangui wind turbines: http://www.flickr.com/photos/cgines/417577578/
Day 49 - Successful Floor Surgery: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikelitwin/488136448/
Day 48 - Spot on the Wall: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikelitwin/488136440/in/photostream/